Nyteblade: Deacon Chalk Book 1 (working title) SNIPPET……


I just got done revising this section and thought I would share the snippet.

You aren’t getting a backstory though. Muwa ha ha. I will say that no one in this snippet is a vampire. There are vampires in the book, but not in this snippet, no matter how it reads.

Hope you enjoy it, feel free to comment.

His head lashed side to side. Eyes wild and teeth clenched, he said. “I do not drink from the vein anymore. My sins are great enough without that. I will wait for blood until I can get it somewhere else.” Sweat ran down his face and arms. “I will not die.”

“You are needed tonight to fight Appollonia. You must have your strength.” She pulled her hair to the side, sweeping it off of her neck. Holding up her hand, one thin finger extended and morphed into a razor sharp, needle of talon. Delicately she pushed the edge of the talon into the vein on her neck.

The blood was bright and crimson on her pale flesh as it welled up. The rich iron smell of it filled the inside of the car, mixing with the cigarette smoke. Unbuckling her seatbelt, she crawled into his lap. He didn’t fight as she placed her open vein beside his face. Teeth sank into his lower lip and his head shied away from her, pressing deeply into the leather of the seat behind him. Nostrils flaring, he began to tremble.

“Drink from me.” Her finger was normal again as she wiped blood from her neck. “You talk of sin. I was made to sin against you, let me atone for that now. Lycanthrope blood is powerful to vampires.” Even in the dim light of the Comet’s interior, her fingers smeared scarlet across his lips. “Let my blood heal you.”

His tongue darted out, drawing some of the blood from his lips into his mouth. Eyes closed he savored it for a moment. Tears streamed from down his cheeks as his mouth opened wide. Slowly his canines slid out into fangs. Charlotte’s face was calm as she waited for him to drink. Sweetly, his arms wrapped around her and drawing her against him.

Father Mulchahey turned back to face the windshield, pulling another cigarette from the pack.

I turned up the music to cover the wet sounds from the backseat and drove on into the night.

There you go. Again, feel free to comment.

James

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Revisions are ALMOST done……I promise.


So I have been revising my WIP. I am at almost to the big climactic showdown with the Big Bad.

Revisions are going well on this half of the book.

Why?

A) My writing improved dramatically once I knew what the hell I was doing.

and B) My writing improved dramatically once I knew what the hell I was doing.

I am thinking maybe next book I will try a bit more outline. lol.

This pantsing did make a little more work especially in the middle of the story. It is all good now though. The story wound up on a different track than I originally planned, but that was bound to happen since I really had no plan, just a really cool concept.

AND, I found someone who appreciates the genre and is a kick ass writer in her own right who is willing to give the revised manuscript a read thru for critique. (THANK YOU ALISHIA)

So, all is working well. Now if any of you other writerly friends are interested in crtiquing an Urban Fantasy WIP let me know. It has guns, vampires with a new twist on their origins, lycanthropes that are NOT wolves or cats (not that there is anything wrong with that), cursed immortals, lots of guns, strippers, hotrods, blues music, and, oh yeah, LOTS OF GUNS!

I would gladly return the favor also.

James, over and out good buddy.